Actually my hours will be 8 to 3:30. After 9 1/2 years as a Stay-At-Home Mama, I'm going back to work. Mixed emotions is an understatement of what I am feeling lately. I am more than excited about my upcoming new job. Without a shadow of a doubt I know this is God's timing, His provision, His direction, part of His plan for my life, and I am so ready for this. I am going to be the new Kindergarten Teachers Assistant at Life Center Academy and I am thrilled. I will be working for/with the fantastical Sue Cole (Sis. Cole). She taught both Ian and Ryan in Kindergarten and IMO we already have a good relationship. I have a feeling, us working together, all day, every day, will be more than just a working relationship. I sense a kindred spirit friendship brewing. August 15th is my first day, the count down has started.....
So why am I feeling so up-side down? Because after 9 years this has become my way of life, and it is about to change. The part I am having the hardest time with is giving up my "SAHM" position. I've been so proud that I've been home with and for my boys. And while the house HAS NOT always been tidy and something delicious has not always been baking in the oven, I think I've done pretty good at this job. Diapers, check. Nursed all three boys, check. Late night feedings with one eye opened, check. Potty training, check. Laundry, dinners, baths, bedtime stories, songs of comfort, soothing a teeth-er, watching angels sleep, Cheerios, Gold Fish, sippy cups, pacifiers, drooling bibs, feety pajamas. Check, check and check. Firsts. First smiles, first giggles, first steps, first words, first "Mama"'s. Every first, I was right there, for each of my darling little boys. The highs and lows, we've done it all. And my heart is overwhelmed with joy and thanks to my precious Lord who granted the desire of this young girls heart. I always wanted to be a Mama and in 9th grade when we were supposed to be deciding what career we wanted to go into to, I decided I wanted to be a Mom and a Wife. So faithful, God has been so faithful to me. My cup runneth over with memories and floods with peace over these past 9 years. Lots of mistakes were made, but so, so, so many things done right. My boys knew I was here, that I was never far. The trust I saw in their baby boy eyes, I still see in their 9, 6 and 3 year old eyes. Things will change, but I still will never be far.
Literally, I won't be far.....Ian's 4th grade classroom will be right above where I will be. Ryan's 1st grade classroom will be right next door to where I will be. And Nolan's pre-school classroom will be in the building right next to where I will be. And the cherry on top, Chris Owens, (my crush ;) will be working in, out, and all around the building where I will be. Wow, God is so good to me. All four of my heartbeats will only be a heartbeat away. God knows, He knows me. He knows my every need. Stay-At-Home Mama I will no longer be, what I will be, I can't wait to see......
Christina, I'm going to share a working mom's secret with you (but don't tell anyone else - I don't want to get thrown out of the group!) You can still be a great mom AND work. You are truly fortunate and blessed that you were able to stay home until now, and that you have such a warm, loving relationship with your boys. But I've always had to work and - TaDah! - I have a warm, loving relationship with my daughter! It's not always perfect: my house is almost never clean and my child can order off a menu like a champ. But she always, always knows that she's loved and that I'll be right there when she needs me. And your boys will continue to know that, too. And here's another secret: working can actually make you a better mom. We all need interaction with other adults and to feel a sense of accomplishment, and working helps provide that.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to be great at this! God will continue to bless you and your family just as always :)
Oh Beth, there is no judgement or malice in this post. This is my heart right now. This is how I can express and understand what I am dealing with, by writing. I know working moms are just as much there for their children as moms who are fortunate to stay home. I know you've done this on your own and your Natalie is amazing. I am not throwing my hat into the Working mom vs. Stay at home mom argument. This is me, who I am. This is me being scared of the un-known, the new territory. I ALWAYS am amazed by Mom's who are single doing this parenting thing/working thing alone. I can't say I could do what you've done, not sure I am strong enough. Thanks for your support, I love you.
DeleteI never thought that for one second. I just don't want you to second-guess yourself. You are a great mom and always will be, no matter what other hats you wear :) That being said - we really, really need to all get together before you go back to work. Let's just pick a date and do it! Love you!
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